1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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