if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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