we have officially lost it.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
