I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
