is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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