Where is the hickey?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
