Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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