chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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