this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
