thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we have officially lost it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
