Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
