Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize