so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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