I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
