She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
