It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
