This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize