Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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