Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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