yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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