I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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