you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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