dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize