For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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