a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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