he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
