do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There r osticjed everywhere
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
