Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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