He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
