She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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