I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I am one with the molecules
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
