mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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