...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
