They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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