Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
