I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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