brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
