how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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