just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
