Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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