when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
