just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize