I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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