his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize