I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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