My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
