he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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