is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
