playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
