you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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