how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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