By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
