Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
