I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
